


Never Cross a Lupin-Snape

by Bonfoi



Series: Lupin_Snape Family Fest 2008 [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 2008, Community: lupin_snape, Family Fest Challenge, HP: EWE, M/M, Romance, Schmoop, slice-of-life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-22
Updated: 2013-06-22
Packaged: 2017-12-15 18:25:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/852653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bonfoi/pseuds/Bonfoi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When someone slanders Severus in front of his son, the family plots together to get their revenge…without resorting to anything Dark whatsoever!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Cross a Lupin-Snape

**Author's Note:**

> **A/N:** A companion piece to "A Day at the Beach", also written for the 2008 Lupin_Snape Family Fest. Teddy and his brothers, Petruchio and Randal, and their little sister, Ceridwen, all had one more adventure to share with you lovely folks…and Severus just dotes on those children, don’t you know?

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**_Disclaimer:_** The world of Harry Potter, its characters and settings are the copyrighted works of J.K. Rowling, Warner Bros., her publishing companies and affiliates. No profit was made from the writing of this story nor was any malice intended in any way, shape or form to the author or the actors/actresses who so brilliantly have brought them to life.

This author is not responsible for underage readers. Please observe the ratings, warnings, and age of legal consent for your country.

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Severus tossed his mask into the corner of the foyer and smirked as he thought back to the excellent night he and his family had experienced…

Teddy and his brothers, Petruchio and Randal, were jumping like kneazles with their tails on fire. Even their sister, Ceridwen, was banging on an old pot like a drummer going into battle! Well…they _had_ emerged victorious from the event. They had attended a Hogwarts Halloween!

* * *

Minerva McGonagall and Filius Flitwick had approached Severus and Remus about attending a special event at Hogwarts. It had taken most of the year and many, many, _many!_ Floo Calls and visits until they’d all agreed on an event: the newly revived Halloween celebration at Hogwarts. The night would be magically accelerated for the guests’ and professors’ children and then those adults without little ones would have their Masquerade Ball in the true night. Former professors were invited that year as well as former students and their families, something that had Severus rolling his eyes—which Randal was imitating, much to Remus’ amusement—and Teddy plotting with Petruchio about how to “enliven” the festivities. Ceridwen was just thrilled to wearing her Fairy Princess wings out of the house.

When Halloween dawned, it was far too early for Severus. Curled around his husband’s strong body, bundled under a feather duvet and a Molly Weasley afghan knitted with the whole family’s names. Since Halloween was a Wizarding holiday, neither he nor Remus had anything scheduled but for a lazy day. Teddy decided otherwise, dragging Ceridwen and her favorite forest green blanket behind him.

The two youngest Lupin-Snapes knocked and once a grunt was heard, they opened the door and raced to jump—twice—on their Dad and Daddy. Remus rolled right off the edge of the bed and onto the floor with a thump while Severus coasted along on the bouncing bed with a chuckle. Leaning over the edge of the bed, Teddy to one side and Ceridwen on his back, Severus looked down on his bemused husband. “I warned you to set a cushioning charm, did I not?” His dark eyes were smiling even more than his thin lips.

Teddy gurgled and laughed, “Yeah, Daddy, you should listen to Dad.”

Ceridwen leaned down over Severus’ shoulder and looked very hard at Remus lying on the floor. “Daddy…why you on fwoor? Big boys stan’.” The pronouncement was delivered as if Severus said it and the lycanthrope gave a barking laugh and held up his arms. “No, no…Daddy stan’. Daddy up.” Remus kept laughing as he climbed into bed and hugged his daughter.

“Well…now that we’ve got that out of the way.” The children giggled and Severus just smirked at that. Remus harrumphed and pulled the tykes closer. “Have you got your costumes for today? Or are we going to have to go to Harry’s again, Teddy?”

Teddy’s hair turned orange and red as he blushed; the day before he’d dragged his fathers to the Potter residence and begged the use of Harry’s First Year uniform. Of course, this was after they’d already gotten his Auror’s costume from Madame Malkin’s. “N-no, sir, Sir! Randal wants to be the Auroch…” His hair had changed to black tinged with silver and green as he calmed, but Teddy caught his own mistake and it turned back to orange and red. “Auror…a-u-r-o-r…Auror, right, Dad? Anyways, Petro doesn’t want to go, so I can be Harry.” He bounced up and down on Severus’ lap.

Severus and Remus shared a look over the ever-changing hair of their son as their daughter snuggled and dozed between them. “Very good, Teddy, you caught that. Now…why doesn’t Petro want to come with us? He was very excited yesterday when he modeled his costume.” Severus knew Petro was so much like him that there would days like this, but he’d hoped they wouldn’t happen as often.

Teddy poked at Severus’ arm hair, so incongruously black against his tan. “Umm…Weasebee…Wheezee…the ginger’uns…they said no Snapes was good ‘nuff. Petro don’t…doesn’t?...doesn’t wanna see ’em.” Teddy had leaned close and mumbled into his Daddy’s shoulder as he spoke.

Randal skidded into the room, whooping in glee. “Come see…oh, Dad! Daddy…it’s brilliant!” He ran back out of the room as the other Lupin-Snapes tumbled from the bed, grabbing robes and sorting out children and blankets. When everyone was put together, they followed the sounds of pops and bangs coming from Petruchio’s room. When they opened the door, a great stink arose.

Holding Ceridwen’s head to his chest, Severus pulled his wand from his robe pocket and _Banished_ the stench. Scattered around the room were the contents of the Mini-Potions Set he’d given Randal and assorted Weasley Wizarding Wheezes. “Explain.” Dark eye snapping, Severus and Ceridwen came right up to Petro’s nose. “Please.”

“I did it, Dad!” The boy’s face was smudged with something green and half his hair was curled while the other half was now purple. “I followed the notes in the book, just like you told me to. The potion turned murky brown and once I stirred widowshins…

“Widdershins,” Remus and Severus corrected together.

“…Widdershins, then. Anyway, I got it to turn pearl-es-ent pink! Just like you wrote!” Petruchio’s ten-year-old eyes were brilliant blue, shining up at his Daddy’s eyes with pride.

“Severus…did you give Petro a Potions book? One that you wrote?” Remus had Teddy by the hand and was pulling Randal close on the other side. Severus wasn’t fooled for one instant. He knew he was in trouble.

Dark eyes looked over the beakers and cauldrons littering the boys’ shared desk. There, in a battered steel cauldron that Remus had used was the Giggle-Fit Potion Severus had created in Second Year, perfect in every way. He sniffed…yes, right down to its pomegranate scent. “So then, what blew up, Petro?” Severus raised dark eyes from the perfect potion to stare at the mess dripping from the ceiling as he waited for the answer. Ceridwen leaned her head against the Potions master’s neck and hummed to herself.

“Oh…well…the blue smear is my first attempt, but the kneazle talons were too old. The greenish ick is when I left the window open and something blew in. The third attempt is the one you sniffed.” Petruchio breathed deeply and realized that he’d blown up his room and Dad Severus wasn’t yelling at him! “You’re not mad? Truly?”

Severus’ only answer was a swooping hug that tugged Petro to his heart. Everyone else gathered around, congratulating the budding Potions master with slaps on the back and a family hug. Remus’ voice rose above the family babble with the driving question of the morning, “Did you have all three potions bubbling at once?”

Tucked against his Dad, the eldest Lupin-Snape smirked. “Dad’s book said that a true Potions master can have seven potions in production at once. I thought three was awfully good for a ten-year-old.” He looked so proud, so much like a young Severus, Remus was struck again by how happy he was to have him as a son.

“Well, for a day of rest, it looks like we’ll had our morning’s excitement,” Remus said. He reached for his daughter and tucked her up under his chin. “Come along, Teddy, Randal. We’ll fix breakfast and let the Potions masters in the family talk for a bit.” He gathered the brood and earned a grateful look from Severus; he wanted to find out why today of all day’s his eldest was mucking about with potions in his room. The door closed behind Remus and the other children with a soft click.

Flicking his wand here and there, Severus cleaned up the mess, placing a stasis charm on the Giggle-Fit potion for his son as he set things to rights. Once that was done, he sat on Petro’s bed and patted the rumpled covers. “Come sit, Petro. Tell me why you decided you needed the Giggle-Fit potion today. For some reason, I was told you wouldn’t be attending the Halloween celebrations with the family.” Severus’ voice was low and soft as he held his son next to him.

Petro’s dark blond hair, so much like Remus’ fell over his eyes as he looked down at his twisting fingers. “When we visited with Uncle Harry, Aunt Ginny’s brother, the one nobody likes, Percy, he said that I shouldn’t come, that anybody called Snape was a greasy git and…” He gulped and leaned closer to his Dad’s body. In a rushed whisper, the boy continued, “He said you’re a mur-der-er, Dad, a bad man.”

Severus’ dark eyes were snapping fire that if he didn’t have a care could set fire to the wall opposite. “Did Uncle Harry agree with that assessment?” he asked with a growl.

Looking up at his father with wide eyes, Petro rushed to tell him just what Uncle Harry had said and done. “Oh, no, no! Uncle Harry had him hanging upside-down and out the window without a wand! Dad, he told him that you’re the bravest man he ever knew and anyone who spread slanting lies should stay out of his house!” His blue eyes were shining up in hero worship for. “Always knew you was brave, Dad! You took us on…only a brave man would do that, right?” Petruchio turned and hugged Severus—hard. 

“Trust Potter to do the noble thing,” the former Head of Slytherin muttered. “You think I’m brave, eh? Well, it was easily the best the thing I ever did finding Remus and gathering such an adventurous family around me. Now that we’ve got that sorted, I think breakfast, a few more cleaning charms on you and the room, and we’ll plot the Lupin-Snape family revenge after breakfast. Oh, that’s slanderous lies, by the way.” They stood up from the bed and looked at the faint residue of the potions that had blown up…and shared a grin.

§§§ö§§§

Breakfast was a boisterous affair starting with Ceridwen’s first burst of accidental magic—the pancake griddle took off like a shot when she asked for more—and just grew more lively as the meal progressed. Once everyone had eaten their fill, and the griddle had been coaxed down from the ceiling, the lone _free_ house-elf, Dinkums, shooed them all out of her domain. They adjourned to the library—Remus’ domain—to have a family consultation on how to make Percy Weasley pay for his disrespect.

Remus’ inner wolf, days away from running free, was appalled at the slight to his mate and his cub. He sat, pinned down by Teddy and Ceridwen’s small bodies, rumbling growls leaking out every so often when he went to speak. Severus had to finally come and kiss him to sooth his lover’s temperament.

“Use your Marauder’s cunning, my Wolf. Our son has the perfect potion for revenge…” Severus looked so proud of Petro that the boy blushed. “You’ve your own band of intrepid fighters…” He gestured to the children bouncing in their seats as he continued, “No one slights the least of us. And, to hurt one of **my** children…that takes a very foolish man just begging to face retribution!” Severus’ grin would have been frightening if he wasn’t surrounded by his loved ones reflecting the same sly look back at him.

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Severus smoothed the red suit’s velvet lapels with a shaking finger as he looked at himself in the mirror. Remus had always loved [The Phantom of the Opera](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Phantom_of_the_Opera_\(2004_film\)), and when Harry Potter had shown him the Muggle newspaper trumpeting the Phantom’s arrival to celluloid, Severus had made certain to take his husband every night that he wished. Remus had wished seventeen nights!

The fantasies that came from the movie had burned their nights for months to come. Yet, one fantasy…of red velvet, a sword and haunting words…never came to fruitions…until that Hogwarts Halloween. Remus had presented a pyramid of boxes, all tied together with a long braid of green leather. The children had bounced on their feet in anticipation, and when Severus gasped with delight, they all crowed and let out a resounding _Huzzah!_ that echoed throughout the house.

Remus’ own flamboyant costume had been chosen by the children and he’d laughed when he opened the single but large box they’d put it in. The color was a vibrant collection of hues—emerald green, cyan blue, ebony and champagne—which went surprisingly well with his greying hair and amber-touched eyes. The boys and Ceridwen had made their Daddy a peacock, misunderstanding a comment Severus had once made. Neither adult corrected their children since the costume would look well and they would be an attractive pair.

The children went as miniature Snapes—each one, even Ceridwen—were dressed in robes based on Severus’ teaching robes of his Hogwarts’ days with miles of buttons and only the merest hints of white at neck and wrist. They even slicked their tresses back with Dad’s Potions Protection Pomade to look like him. Remus and Severus applauded them as they paraded before their fathers before the party. Gathered at the door, they finished putting on outer robes just before a knock came.

“Ah, the Lupin-Snapes are ready and in very fine form.” Harry Potter had come to collect the family, his way of showing solidarity for the men and their family. He’d dressed as Remus in a tatty cardigan and patched robes—which he actually borrowed from the werewolf—and even had a small moon orbiting his head. Ceridwen tried to catch it but caught Harry’s ear instead making them all laugh again. They set off on that note, ready to enjoy themselves…and make Percy Weasley pay for his slander.

§§§ö§§§

The afternoon and evening went well. The small Snapes running around, spouting potions formulas and waving practice wands raised eyebrows and garnered applause from the more informed. Severus and Remus won the costume contest for the adults, striking in their velvet suits and causing not a few hearts to flutter with fantasies. But…it was when the punch bowl had to be refilled that things got interesting.

The Giggle-Fit Potion was cherry-flavored and mixed quite well with the punch…especially after Harry asked the house-elves to make cherry punch as the replacement flavor. A few magical folk had been let in on the prank and they helped steer Percy Weasley towards the fresh punch bowl. Once Percy drank two cups of punch, the house-elves replaced the punch and the fun began.

Percy began laughing like a hyena and then threw out cyan spots. He desperately tried to stop, but every time he managed to charm his mouth shut, his red hair gained a yellow stripe. People were laughing and pointed, some of them who had also had a cup of the doctored punch. Percy finally crawled through robes and tripped over boots to get to Severus and began pantomiming begging for help.

Looking down through the Red Death’s skull mask, Severus’ cold voice cut across the hubbub around them. “So…now a Snape, a Lupin-Snape, is good enough to rub shoulders with you, Weasley.” A superior sniff from Remus’ direction curled his lips. “Why should I help a sniveling, slanderous worm that bullies small children?” The words fell into a well of silence as the guests looked on. Minerva McGonagall stood off to the side next to Harry and Ginny, just observing.

Percy’s pleading became frantic as he began to burp multicolored bubbles. Severus finally _Summoned_ a small vial from Harry’s pockets and popped the cork out with a sneer. He poured it over Weasley’s head instead of allowing him to imbibe it and the redhead squeaked like a mouse as the noises and bubbles finally stopped. “Remember this when you want to make another small child cry, Weasley.”

Severus and Remus gathered their brood and thanked Minerva for the entertainment and gave Harry a surreptitious nod of appreciation. Soon, cheers and confetti surrounded them on the way out of Hogwarts. Petruchio’s face was beaming with pride at how well his potion worked, Randal and Teddy were hugging him and telling him how proud they were to be his brothers, and Ceridwen curled up in Remus’ arms, chewing on her stuffed kneazle’s ear as she fought off sleep.

§§§ö§§§

“Severus, when did you cast _Silencio_ on me?” Remus whispered in Severus’ ear as they lay in bed. The heat from his body warmed Severus’ back and he reached for his wand to check the monitoring spells on the children and the silencing spells on their room. He cast the locking charm for good measure since he knew Remus would make him pay for keeping him quiet.

Turning on his back and pulling Remus over his chest, Severus began running his hands up and down his husband’s scarred back. “I knew you’d rip strips of Weasley’s hide from him for hurting one of our cubs. I didn’t want you to say anything that might come back to haunt you.” The brunet pressed soft kisses to the greying hair, onto the curve of the ear showing through, and the temple nearest his lips. “Very few credit me with finer feelings, thus I _Silenced_ you.” Severus pulled back to look into those incredible eyes, tinting with more amber as the moon rose. “Will you forgive me?”

Kissing thin lips that tasted like raspberries—the dessert of the night—the lycanthrope growled, but it was the sexy one and they both knew it. When Remus pulled back to breathe deeply, he smirked. “You do realize that I knew it the moment you did it, don’t you?” At Severus’ nod, he went on, “You’re always protecting us, Severus. I love you for that, for giving Petro the chance to regain his pride and to right a wrong against us all. Now that that’s out of the way, shall I show how proud I am of my husband?”

The fact that Remus had been grinding against Severus’ hip was a dead-giveaway and he let out a bark of laughter that segued into a long moan as Remus attacked his neck with teeth and tongue. Severus gave himself over to Remus’ loving attention, especially when his lover began listing all the lascivious thoughts he’d had when he’d seen Severus in the red velvet suit and the mask…how tight the pantaloons had been…how lovingly the velvet had molded to his long arms…how enticing his arse had been when he bent over to tie their daughter’s boots…the litany turned to murmurs of pleasure as he translated each bit of praise physically—to their shared delight!

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_~~~ Comments, like rain in the desert, are greatly appreciated.  
Thank you for reading. ~~~_

**Author's Note:**

> [Red Death from _The Phantom of the Opera_ (2004)](http://www.musicalsonline.com/images/poto/reddeath.jpg)


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